dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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