I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize