have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
