Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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