I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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