hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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