I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my shit smells like andre
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
