What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
