she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My vagina just recognized that song.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
