we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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