It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My ATM looks so different sober.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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