I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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