Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
