i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
