Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
