Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
