She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
