He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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