He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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