Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
