No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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