addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
