dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
