Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Bring me that man meat
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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