apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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