I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
