Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
