did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize