just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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