So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
