Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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