Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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