Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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