Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
