I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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