Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
