i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
