I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
