Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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