I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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