is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
