awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize