Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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