So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
