Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
