My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
