so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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