Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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