i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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