she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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