Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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