he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
