like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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