dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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