i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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