absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
