I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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