Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
