trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
