Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
