i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I AM VODKA MAN
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
