I will die if light touches me.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
