is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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