Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
