Im at strip club and am horny
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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