apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's never too late to be topless.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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