id be glad to
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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