you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
