You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize