Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize